Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Ticket

I have purchased one round-trip ticket to Islamabad. I am due to leave in 2 weeks. I think about it throughout my day. Do I want to do this? Why? It has been pretty intense there lately. An assassination, a visit from the Vice President followed by a car bomb. What is pulling me to visit? It could be a couple of different things.
For a year now there has been a connection with my husband that is missing. I don't understand his new world. I don't know the people, the procedures, the culture. I long to know these things. To have something tangible to grasp and hold onto. I want to have a conversation with him without feeling frustrated at my lack of knowledge and understanding.
It is a country torn by war. I do not understand war. I live in a neat and clean bubble where bad things don't happen. I can not fathom the necessity to pursue life while there is unrest around you. To understand people and their suffering, I need to experience this life first hand.
But there is something deeper. The largest natural modern day catastrophe happened in this country but we have not responded. $1,000 per person was donated to the earthquake in Haiti but only $100 per person to the flooding in Pakistan. Why is that?Pakistan is a place we are all afraid of.
I am afraid to go there to. Conquering this fear may be part of what is driving me to go. I may never know the reasons and I will probably continue to struggle with the rightness of this trip until I step off the plane in America again.

1 comment:

  1. I look forward to hearing our insight on the country. I wish I knew more about it. Also wanted to send along this notice. If you are uncomfortable being on the Round Up, please let me know and I'll remove you.

    It is time for the Weekly State Department Blog Round Up and you are on it!

    It is found here:
    http://smallbitsfs.blogspot.com/2011/01/part-1-new-stuff-and-100-or-so-blog.html

    If you would like the links to your site removed (or corrections are needed) please contact me. Thanks!

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