Saturday, September 8, 2012

Top 10 Reasons I LOVE Driving in Bogota

10.  I can do all my shopping while waiting in traffic.  No more last minute runs to the grocery store because I forgot to purchase a telescoping handle feather duster, or charger for  my phone.  Now I can bargain away from the comfort of my car.  I also have a vast selection of the finest fruit and bouquets of flowers Bogota has to offer without stepping foot into a store.

9.  I don't have to worry about when the circus is coming to town or how to purchase tickets because I now have front row entertainment at stop lights.  The performers wow us with their acrobatic acts and juggling shows.  All done within the time of one traffic light allowing a bit of time to tip their hat and ask for a donation.

8.  It doesn't matter if I need to drop someone off, pick someone up or fix my mascara, I can just pull over on the side of any main road in the midst of rush hour, park my car and let the rest of the world worry about getting around me.

7.  If I have a last minute whim to turn left at a corner even if I am three lanes of traffic to the right I can do it.  No one will honk at me.  No one will even give me a second glance, unless they are another American who is trying to go straight.

6.  If I am in a bit of a hurry and see the two lanes of traffic I am driving in are moving inefficiently, I can simply create a third lane.  Everyone will skootch over a bit and we will all be happy that if we drive perfectly straight, no one will get a scrape on their car.

5.  I can drive any form of transportation I so please.  If I had a horse I could have a romantic meander down the highway in my cart.  On a bicycle I have no worries of messing up my hair because I don't even need to worry about a helmet.  If I am a man I can just hop on the back of a motorcycle with my friend and hug  him around the waist so that I don't fly off while zipping between cars.

4.  Parking lots are so neat and tidy.  With all the cars backed in and no space to park crookedly everything looks picture perfect.  This also helps with weight gain because I have the fear of parking and not being able to squeeze out of my car and then shimmy sideways down the row until I have been released into the lot.

3.    I don't have to worry about planning my day around rush-hour traffic.  With the brilliant move the new mayor made in changing the pico y placa rules, all hours are now rush-hour.

2.  Texting while driving is not a problem here.  In fact I have found it the perfect thing to do while waiting in the every day traffic jam.  Pulling a book out of my purse is a bit too intensive because as I get involved in the plot I might miss moving forward a few inches every 5 minutes thus giving another driver the room to squeeze in front of me.

1.  As I was sitting in the latest Bourne movie watching the final 20 minute high speed car chase I realized that I would never have to worry about being caught in the midst of one here in Bogota.  It simply would not be possible for motorcycles and police cars to weave in and out of traffic at high speed without hitting a large pot-hole or crater in the road therefore foiling the chase.

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