The Visa

My visa has arrived in the mail. It is official now, I am going to Pakistan. I dragged my luggage up from the basement earlier this week and am already half packed. My husband is starting to send me notes on things to bring him. Things are arriving in the mail that I didn't order - I guess I'm supposed to bring that stuff along too!
I found myself at dinner one night this week listening to the kids chatter around me. I felt separated as if I was watching them from afar. My head asked my heart how they would do if something were to happen to me. I realized at that moment that they would be ok. Sure, it would definitely be hard on them, but they would be ok. It's been hard on them having their dad gone for a year, but they are ok. They are happy, secure kids and that will continue with or without me. It makes me feel good to know that my kids are strong enough to survive the difficult things that life will throw at them. Most likely nothing will happen to me, I will get home and we will continue on in life finishing the school year, packing up the house and moving to Colombia - together. But somewhere down the road very difficult things will happen to each of them because they happen to each of us. I have confidence that they will do well, they will weather the storms that come their way.
I glance down at my passport, open the page and look at my visa. This is really happening, I'm just holding onto the ride!