Thursday, January 13, 2011

The Ticket

I have purchased one round-trip ticket to Islamabad. I am due to leave in 2 weeks. I think about it throughout my day. Do I want to do this? Why? It has been pretty intense there lately. An assassination, a visit from the Vice President followed by a car bomb. What is pulling me to visit? It could be a couple of different things.
For a year now there has been a connection with my husband that is missing. I don't understand his new world. I don't know the people, the procedures, the culture. I long to know these things. To have something tangible to grasp and hold onto. I want to have a conversation with him without feeling frustrated at my lack of knowledge and understanding.
It is a country torn by war. I do not understand war. I live in a neat and clean bubble where bad things don't happen. I can not fathom the necessity to pursue life while there is unrest around you. To understand people and their suffering, I need to experience this life first hand.
But there is something deeper. The largest natural modern day catastrophe happened in this country but we have not responded. $1,000 per person was donated to the earthquake in Haiti but only $100 per person to the flooding in Pakistan. Why is that?Pakistan is a place we are all afraid of.
I am afraid to go there to. Conquering this fear may be part of what is driving me to go. I may never know the reasons and I will probably continue to struggle with the rightness of this trip until I step off the plane in America again.

1 comment:

  1. I look forward to hearing our insight on the country. I wish I knew more about it. Also wanted to send along this notice. If you are uncomfortable being on the Round Up, please let me know and I'll remove you.

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